In clinical research conducted the year 1994, it shows that 77% of participants believed that extramarital sex is immoral. But, infidelity or cheating is not just about having a sexual affair with another person. It is the act of being unfaithful in your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Infidelity involves a lot of emotional pain and trauma to both parties. So how to forgive after an affair? How can you forget and move forward?
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Allow yourself to breathe
You can’t forgive in just a snap! If you’re a victim of cheating, allow yourself to breathe. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to shut the world for a while because you need it. You need yourself the most. Take this time to love and take care of yourself.
Talk to your partner
When you’re ready to talk, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse. Remember: avoid blaming yourself or your partner. It’s time to answer all the why’s and how’s of infidelity. Avoid pointing fingers because both of you need to understand what went wrong in your relationship. How did it happen? And how to avoid it in the future?
Make a decision
Are you willing to forgive and work things out? Is he/she willing to change to save your relationship? Or move on with your life without one another? If both of you can’t decide, find a marriage and family therapist to help you out. The decision to proceed to the next phase depends on you.
Rebuild what’s broken
So you decided to forgive your spouse. Congratulations on being brave and kind! Your heart is not fixed. So you both need to rebuild what’s broken. Suspicions, trust issues, and being paranoid is part of the process. You need to both put an effort into creating new memories. There are fun date ideas out there perfect for you.
Forgive but do not forget
They say, to forgive is to forget. But sometimes, the pain remains forever. According to studies, infidelity causes post-traumatic stress. Therefore, forgiveness is not about forgetting. It’s acceptance. Accept that it happened. Now, it’s time to move on. Period.
When bad things happened again, don’t mention the past. It’s part of the contract. Both of you will not heal if you keep touching the wounds. So give time, mend the broken pieces, and let love heal you.
Here’s another post you might enjoy, Can You Marriage Survive After Infidelity?
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