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I asked my close friends and family what their best marriage advice is, and they did not disappoint. Here are a few things they said, written in my own words, with their permission of course.
Schedule Date Nights
Schedule date nights as often as possible, never go a full month without a date with your honey. Seriously, put it on your calendar and consider that time booked. Having uninterrupted quality time is direly important.
If you need help coming up with date ideas, I’ve got you covered here!
Use Your Mate’s Love Language
Learning your mate’s love language is vitally important to your marriage. Just because something makes you happy and makes you feel loved, doesn’t mean the same things make your spouse feel loved. Learn what makes them tick and makes their love tank full!
Learning who you each are and how you think will help you find healthy ways to express your feelings and accept that you’re both different, and that okay! After all, you didn’t fall in love with yourself, you fell in love with your spouse.
Be Best Friend’s
I don’t believe that marriage without friendship can work in our culture.
Laughing together, being able to be goofy and just having fun is important in a marriage.
A marital friendship can strengthen a marriage because friendship in marriage helps build emotional and physical intimacy.
Having a friendship helps couples feel safe enough to be more open with one another without worrying about being judged or feeling insecure. If you feel like you’ve lost your marriage friendship don’t be discouraged. A lapsed friendship can be restored with intentional acts to build your friendship.
Learn To Compromise
You cannot always get your way, meaning you cannot expect your spouse to always give in to your wants and vice versa. You may have to give each other time to think about a situation and revisit it later.
Compromising should happen on both sides. Realizing that you’re not always right and maybe your way isn’t the best way will go a long way in helping you compromise.
Don’t Say Everything You Think
It’s okay not to say everything you are thinking – especially in the heat of the moment. It’s not true that words don’t hurt, they can cause pain for years. You don’t have to win every argument. Sometimes it’s best to stay quiet or even agree to disagree.
Of course, this is easier said than done. Practice self-control because loving your spouse sometimes means, keeping your mouth shut. “Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.” –Proverbs 21:23 (the message)
My mom always said “Don’t say everything you think and don’t tell everything you know” that’s some of the best advice I’ve ever been given, although I rarely listened to that advice when I was younger. I’m trying to do better now mom!
What Is Romance?
Romance is not always flowers and candles, sometimes it’s emptying the dishwasher, doing things that you aren’t interested in just because it makes your mate happy, sending a thoughtful message, or picking up dinner on the way home.
At times romance is the little things, things that make you feel cherished by your partner.
Always keep the lines open and talk to each other even if it’s uncomfortable. People want to be understood and to feel like their emotions are valued.
Speak in a kind tone and be understanding. Express your feelings using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. ie. “I feel worried when you don’t check-in” instead of “you always forget to text me”.
Listen actively without interrupting, to understand and to resolve an issue, do not listen simply to respond. Be transparent meaning; be yourself, don’t be fake, this is your life partner, you want them to know you and you never want to feel like you’re living a lie.
Never Go To Bed Angry
A recent study published in the online Nature Communications journal corroborates this age-old marriage advice. Basically it says that sleep makes it harder to forget bad memories. Therefore if you go to bed already forgiven and made up, when you wake you won’t harbor bad feelings for one another.
So, always kiss goodnight and better yet, say your prayers together.
Never Try To Change Your Partner
Don’t compare yourself to others, you are wonderfully made as individuals and as a couple. Learn to love your partner and their ever-changing self.
Two strong individuals united is a much greater force to be reckoned with than two individuals who conform to be like one another.
Respect each other as individuals, realize that you both had lives before you met. Build your life together but still with your own individuality.
Apologize and Forgive Fast!
The longer you hang onto unforgiveness and pride, the harder it will be to let it go. Remember your end goal, and that’s to have a long happy life together.
So, say you’re sorry when you have hurt the other person or done something you know was wrong. Offer forgiveness even if you don’t feel it right away. Forgive knowing you love one another and want what’s best for your relationship.
Start each morning fresh, accept your partner for who they are, and choose happiness. Laugh a lot, love a lot, and kiss a lot!
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